Taylor Lautner vs Jacob Black
by heavy.sighs.and.sad.goodbyes
Summary: According to Leah Clearwater, Mr. Lautner is better in all aspects. Jacob's out to prove her wrong. Includes mentions of the movie “Valentine’s Day”.


_Taylor Lautner vs. Jacob Black_

Summary: _According to Leah Clearwater, Mr. Lautner is better in all aspects. Jacob's out to prove her wrong. Includes mentions of the movie "Valentine's Day"._

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It was just a normal day for Jacob Black. He had woken up and eaten the breakfast that Rachel had so kindly made for him. She was moving out next week, into some house she and Paul found. Fortunately, no more of Paul eating all the food in the house. Unfortunately, they were moving just down the road, so he would still have to listen to them go at it over and over and over at night, thanks to his stupid extrasensory hearing. He never knew Rachel had so much energy. And here he and everyone else had this big idea that she was _quiet _twin…

Then he had gone for a run after showering. It had been about 5 days since he had last showered. He just couldn't keep track anymore. Besides, at the end of the day, he just smelt like wood and vampire anyway, and he wasn't about to shower every damned day. Rosalie bugged him about showering more often though. About using soap, more specifically.

"If I'm gonna have to see you everyday, the least you can do is smell somewhat decent," she told him, crossing her arms. So, he had showered this morning, just for her. Of course, he had a hidden motive. Plan Walk-Through-The-Creek-Next-To-The-Cullens-House-So-I-Come-In-Smelling-Like-Wet-Dog-Even-Though-I-Showered is a go. Jacob grinned as he stepped out of the shower, keeping his plan in mind, and wrapped a towel around his waist. He wiped the steam from the mirror and grinned a big, white wolfy grin. He ran his fingers through his short black hair before nodding once and getting dressed in nothing but a pair of cut-off jeans and a pair of sneakers, as always.

He jogged in human form for a while, till he reached the La Push cliffs. He did a few stretches just because he could and then stripped down and phased, making sure to run through the creek several times before shaking off, getting dressed, and walking into the Cullen household. Rosalie shook her head as he passed her.

"Whatever happened to showering?"

"I did. I just felt like taking a bath, as well. Extra clean." Edward laughed as he saw the ingenious plan in Jacob's head and nodded approvingly.

Jacob hung out with Nessie for a good 3 hours before leaving, giving a sarcastically courteous nod to Rosalie on his way out. She scoffed and shoved him out the door. He laughed and repeated his actions of earlier, phasing and heading in the direction of the Clearwater residence next, wondering if Leah or Seth would be willing to help him waste yet another useless day.

He changed back to human form once he got within La Push borders and jogged on the side of the road, the wind blowing against his chest and face, running though his short hair. He closed his eyes and appreciated the gentle breeze. He entered the Clearwater house without knocking. He sat down in the fourth chair at the table like he owned it. He squirmed till he became comfortable and smiled at Leah and Seth, who also sat at the table, waiting for the lunch that Sue was preparing. Seth smiled back, Leah rolled her eyes, and Sue got out an extra plate, glass, and silverware and placed it in front of him.

Jacob quickly and easily joined in on conversation and they talked like family. He had only 3 servings to be polite. Well, actually, he only stopped at 3 because Leah had eaten 2 and gone into the den. He stopped eating and decided to follow her.

He walked into the den and saw her sitting on the couch, eating from a bowl of popcorn and watching what appeared to be a cheesy romance movie. Probably comedy. She turned her head to look at him as he sat down next to her before turning her attention back to the TV. She held the giant popcorn bowl out to him and he shrugged, taking a large handful and attempting to shove it all in his mouth at once. Leah laughed lightly, shaking her head, but then she grew serious, watching the movie closely.

He saw the DVD case laying on the table next to him so he picked it up and looked at it. It said Valentine's Day.

"What is this movie?" he asked her. She rolled her eyes before continuing to pay close attention.

"It's a movie about the dumbass holiday of Valentine's Day. Who even celebrates that holiday? Whatever. I hate the holiday, but I like most of the actors in here, so I rented it. You don't have to watch it if you don't want to. I think Seth is going over to Embry's in a while." She accented this statement by shoving a handful of popcorn in her large mouth.

"Yeah, I am, if you wanna come with," Seth said as he passed them down the hall. Jacob thought about it for a moment before looking back at the movie. Then he shook his head.

"Nah, I actually think I'll stay and watch this. Maybe I'll catch up with you when it gets boring." Jacob tossed the case on the table and reached over to grab another handful of popcorn. He did a double-take at Leah's expression, which was one of confusion.

"What, don't you want your dear Alpha here to watch what is bound to be a bizarre movie?" he asked, acting equally as confused. She considered this for a moment before shrugging and turning her attention back to the movie. He grinned and watched as well.

Now, Jacob had watched movies before during his daily routine. They were usually action movies with Emmett, but every once in a while, if Nessie wanted to watch a romance, he would. He didn't like chick flicks that much, but there were worse things in life than boring movies.

But there was an actor in this movie that hadn't been in any of the ones he had seen. And there was a closet fan that was sitting right next to him that he hadn't been aware of. So you see, these are the reasons why Jacob Black's view on both Leah Clearwater and the movie he had been watching for the past half hour changed so suddenly.

"Oh my God," Leah said slowly, pronouncing every word. He looked at her, then at the screen, trying to see what she was getting so excited about.

"What?" he asked.

"It's…it's…"

"It's what?"

"It's Taylor Lautner! I didn't know he was in this movie! Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!" Leah had suddenly become very out of breath and Jacob found it difficult to understand what she was saying. And her facial expression had changed to one of a happy pain. He had always imagined that to be the kind of expression that Rachel wore when she was with Paul at night. Actually, that was also the kind of sound that Rachel made when she was with Paul…

He moved further to his side of the couch. "Who?"

"Taylor Lautner!" Leah repeated, looking plain excited now. "I watched him when he was in Sharkboy and Lava Girl way back. I loved him. Damn, he grew up. Looking good, to…" Jacob looked over at Leah. She licked her lips, a devious smile on her face. Like a cat that's about to pounce on a bird. Jacob was actually a little afraid. And maybe just a little bit turned on.

"He's a martial artist. He was born in Michigan in February 1992. He started studying karate when he was six, and he was great at it. He won tons of Championships. Then, when he was about 10, he began acting. It took a long time for things to actually launch for him, but he looks like he's doing well now. He was in that movie, Cheaper By the Dozen 2. Remember that one? I think I watched that with you once. God, he's gorgeous." And as if the mini bio of Taylor Lautner wasn't enough, Leah sighed at the end of it all. Sighed. Leah. Literally, she rested her elbow on her knee and put her chin in her palm and got a dazed, faraway dream world look in her eyes.

Jacob was too stunned to talk. His eyes widened as he turned his attention to the screen again. He cocked his head to the side and looked at Taylor carefully. He'd seen that face somewhere before. And then he got it: This morning in the mirror.

"Hey!" he pointed. "We look a lot alike!"

Leah's dreamy-eyed look was replaced with a confused grimace, looking almost disgusted. "Huh?"

"Taylor and I. We look alike. Seriously. I'll bet that if I ever walked down the street in LA or something, the paparazzi would mistake me for him."

Leah scoffed and shook her head. "No. No way you look like that, Jake. You don't have those biceps. God, do you see the way he looks in that track shirt? Mmm…" Leah moaned a little and rewound. Then she rewound it again. And again. Jacob stared at her.

"Okay! I got it! I saw him in the track shirt. Can we move on now please?" Jacob snapped a little louder than he had meant to, and, even though he would never admit it, he was getting kind of jealous. "Besides, I would look just as good, if not better in that track shirt."

Leah looked at him and gave him a pity smile. She reached out and rubbed her hand on his arm almost reassuringly. "Jake, it's okay. So he has bigger biceps than you do and probably better abs. I mean, we don't live as close to a gym as he does. No need to feel bad about your body…"

Jacob jumped up at that. "Whoa, there. I never said that. So he can swirl a stick around. So he can break a board in half with a single bare hand. So he can run and _trip over a hurdle_. Big whoop! I can transform into a giant wolf on demand. You're telling me girls don't go for that?!"

Leah shook her head at him. "Jacob, even if girls did find that attractive, which they don't, you can't tell them anyways, because it's a _pack secret_, remember? I mean, come on. A boyfriend who can turn into a big, hairy wolf? No girl wants that. And a boyfriend who can literally kill you without trying? The only girl on the planet who would actually want to date Edward Cullen after finding out that he's a vampire is Bella, his wife. Girls just don't go for that kind of thing."

Jacob glared at her, but reluctantly agreed. He sat down and continued watching.

"You know, Taylor Swift is kind of cute. I mean, look at that wonderfully choreographed dance of hers," he stated, glancing over at Leah to see if she'd get as jealous as he had. She just shrugged.

"They're probably dating. Odds are she has enough sense not to let a hottie like that go."

Jacob tried to stay calm. "Yeah, I don't think so. Wouldn't it get confusing dating someone with the same name as you? I mean, wouldn't the sex be kind of odd? Taylor! Taylor. Taylor! Taylor. What's the point?"

Leah laughed. "I guess it would. Luckily for us, I doubt we'll ever date someone of the opposite sex with our names." Jacob nodded in agreement. But then she just had to keep talking. "Besides, Taylor isn't like that. He's not a malicious pig that just dates girls to get them into bed, even though he very easily could. I wish guys around here were more like Taylor. I wish there were nicer guys around here that don't all have the same underlying motive."

Leah looked at Jake out of the corner of her eye before looking back at the TV.

Jacob let his mouth hang open for a minute before he clenched his fists till they were white. "Yeah. If only you could find a decent guy at all," he muttered to himself.

"What did you say, Jake?" Leah asked him, holding out the popcorn.

He let out a shaky breath and unclenched his fists. "Nothing. Nothing at all."

They continued watching the movie in silence, chuckling and giggling at a few parts that they found funny. Jacob paused it when Leah got up to go make more popcorn and he thought back to that Taylor guy. There bodies were almost the same. If anything, Jacob was even more buff than Taylor. Jacob stood up and looked down at his own stomach. He nodded and lifted his arm so his biceps bulged. He nodded. What was Leah talking about? His body was completely badass.

And what was all that talk about finding a nice guy in La Push. Just the other day when they had been going for a hike through the woods in human form, Jacob had thrown a rotting tree trunk out of the way so she wouldn't have to step over it. Like that Taylor guy could do that. Like he _would_ do that. Jacob nodded to himself again.

_Yeah, man. You're way better than Taylor in every way. What's Leah talking about? No nice guys in La Push. Ha! Maybe she has selective amnesia or something and only remembers the bad stuff you do. Yeah, that's it…_

"Jake?"

Jacob spun around to see that Leah had already gotten comfortable on the couch and was holding the remote, ready to push play. She gave him a confused look. He smiled sheepishly, ended his mental pep talk and sat down to watch the rest of the movie.

All throughout the rest of the movie, he couldn't focus. Leah's words haunted him.

_I wish guys around here were more like Taylor. I wish there were nicer guys around here that don't all have the same underlying motive._

When the football quarterback admitted he was gay, Leah gasped, but Jacob wasn't paying attention.

"I totally should have seen that coming. I'm usually so good at predicting things like that. You know, the things that are so far out in left field, they never happen, but then they do?" Leah asked. When Jacob didn't respond, she looked over at him. He had a thoughtful expression on his face and a far-off look in his eye. "Jake?"

She reached over and poked him once. "Jacob?"

She jumped in surprise when he turned his head to look at her suddenly. She laughed and held her hand over her heart. "Geez, Jake, you…"

"Why do you think I'm not nice?"

Leah blinked at him. "What?"

Jacob turned to face her fully. "Why do you think I'm not nice? Why do you think all I want is a piece of ass? I'm looking for a sturdy relationship, same as you."

Leah looked at him in surprise, not sure how to answer. But he sat there and waited for an answer.

"Jake, I…I didn't mean to offend you or anything. Yeah, of course you're a nice guy. I wasn't talking about you. It's just…I meant nicer guys around here that aren't already taken. Guys that aren't my boss."

"What do you mean 'taken'? And what do you mean 'boss'?"

"Nessie. You have Nessie. Maybe not right now, but you'll have Nessie soon. You don't really have to search. And…you're like my boss, like…like I'm the coworker or business partner, but I'm beneath you." Leah replayed those words in her head and jumped at the chance to fix them. "Lower than you. I'm lower than you on the business-type scale, is what I meant to say."

Jacob nodded slowly, looking slightly dejected by this information, like it didn't really help his cause. Leah titled her head to the side and looked at him.

"Why? Why would you take that to heart? I mean, you're Jacob Black, Alpha extraordinaire. You don't care what my opinion is of you. You don't care what anybody's opinion is of you."

Jacob scoffed. "Do you care what I think about you?"

Leah was silent, but she hung her head in defeat.

"See, of course you do. So I'm the boss. So what? I still care what my pack thinks of me. I care what you think of me. And, I mean, I'm no Taylor Lautner, but that doesn't mean I'm not as nice as him, or as humble as him, or as strong as him, or, frankly, as hot as him. And did it ever occur to you that maybe I'm nicer, humbler, stronger, _and _hotter than him?"

Leah let her jaw slack for a moment, trying to find something to say. Why was he so offended? He didn't give her the chance to search her vocabulary to talk, though. He got up and left the den. She pushed herself off the couch and chased him into the kitchen. Just as he reached out to turn the handle, she covered the door with her back, her arms out, so she faced him.

"Stop, okay? I didn't know you'd get so offended by stuff like that! So I think Taylor Lautner is hot, along with a thousand other girls. So what?"

"I look just like him, that's why! And when I say that, you just dismiss it like it's not true! It is! Yet, you never tell me that I'm good-looking!"

"Yeah, well you never tell me I'm good-looking either! Why should I have to say it first?!"

"Fine, you want me to tell you you're attractive? Then I will! Leah, I think you are the most attractive, pretty, beautiful girl on the whole rez, the whole peninsula, the whole state of Washington even!"

Leah's arms dropped at the same time her jaw did. Jacob blinked, his face expressionless, but Leah could smell traces of fear in the air. She smiled slightly and bit her lip. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and looked down, glancing up at him through her lashes. "You think I'm beautiful?"

Jacob stared at her a second but pulled it together and nodded quickly. "Yeah. Yeah, of course I do. Why wouldn't I?"

"I don't know. Maybe because I'm a bitter harpy?" Jacob gulped at the tone of voice Leah used to say this. And the giggle that accented the insult was high-pitched. Flirtatious. She giggled again at his expression and pressed her back against the door, her arm coming forward to land on his shoulder. He looked at it out of the corner of his eye, and she giggled again. He closed his eyes before looking at her again.

Her eyes were darker than they were a second ago, and the grin was catlike again. Her tongue ran over her lips, dampening them, and she chewed on her bottom lip with her perfectly white teeth. Jacob let out a deep breath and shook a little bit. She tilted her head back to look at him fully and her hand pulled him closer at the same time. By the time her face was parallel to his, their faces were only inches apart. He could feel her warm breath on his face. He could smell the sweetness that corrupted it, as well. He licked his lips quickly, not sure where this was going, or if this was real. And then, he could hear her teasing whisper, more of her warm, sweet, tantalizing breath flowing from her perfectly plump lips.

"Are my lips as beautiful as the rest of me?" His eyes were closed, but he could see the smirk plainly on her lips. He tried to think of a witty comeback, but before he could, he voice deceived him by letting out a lustful grunt and he rested his forehead against hers for support. He nodded slowly.

"Yes." His voice came out rusty and thick, his throat dry. He tried not to pant against her face, even though he needed air. She lifted her head back a little bit more so the tips of their noses touched, but he kept his eyes closed. He tried to breathe evenly, but found it impossible. His feet took half a step closer, his hands moving out to touch the door for more support. One of her arms was still at her side. As he moved his hand towards the door, he came in contact with her smooth, tan arm, eliciting a small groan from Leah, who longed for one more touch; who desired a kiss.

He grinned to himself and ran his hand up and down her arm, enjoying the deep breaths she had begun to fill her lungs with. Her breathing turned to short-winded gasps as his hand rested on her hip, moving slowly up her side. He finished on a strong note, pressing the front of his body flush against hers.

"Jacob!" she cried out lightly, accenting it with a whimper. He groaned in unison. She whispered, "Please. Please kiss me."

He moved his head downwards to her neck, leaving trails of his breath across it. The hand that still rested on the door moved itself to her hair, pushing her head to the side slightly, gently.

"I can't. You said you didn't want to have to be the first one to break the ice on the attractive scale. I told you you're beautiful, but you still have to say it to me before I can kiss you."

Leah let out a small growl at his breath in her ear. The hand that still rested by her side slid to his hip, and into his back pocket. She chuckled evilly as he buckled slightly at the sudden movement. "God, you're beautiful." She let out an even breath before continuing. "Hotter than hell. Out of this world." Her breath quickened involuntarily and she buried her face into his neck. "Jacob, please…"

He groaned and pressed her closer to the door, his hands finding the backs of her thighs and lifting her legs around his waist. Both of them gasping for breath, she extracted her hand from his back pocket and lifted it to his shoulder. She looked into his eyes before wrapping both arms tightly around his neck and crashing her lips against hers, both of them moaning in sync and breathing heavily though their noses at the sudden lack of air. Both felt light-headed at the direct contact. His lips against hers. Every inch of her body covering his. He gripped the backs of her thighs tightly, forcing her to lock her legs tighter around his waist. She groaned and tried to breathe. Finally he pulled away and attacked her neck with his lips so she could breathe.

She took breaths in that sounded more like gasps. Her head fell back, her eyes clenching shut, and a passionate groan coming through her clenched teeth. One of her arms flew against the door, her closed fist pounding against it once, a louder groan coming from her.

Jacob groaned and looked up at her, his eyes filled with lust and a cheeky grin across his face. They both caught their breath before resting their foreheads against each other's once again, both still breathing heavy.

When their breaths were even, she sighed and untangled her arms from his neck, placing a warm hand on either side of his face. He took one hand from the back of her thigh and lifted it to her face, wiping away the hair that had gotten caught in a small stream of sweat that dripped from her temple. She laughed. He grinned at her and did the same with the other hand before resting both hands on her shoulders and looking into her eyes, his forehead still against hers. A small smile still graced her lips. She gently closed the gap between them.

This kiss was not nearly as fiery or passionate as the last, but nice. Sweet. Slow. It lasted longer before they finally broke apart. He stepped back slightly and wrapped both arms around her waist, hugging her close to him. She tangled her arms around his neck again and closed her eyes, breathing in the scent on his skin. She rested her forehead in the crook of his neck, smiling at how perfectly it fit there.

"Sooo…" he said after a moment. "Better than Taylor Lautner?"

Leah rested her head against the door and laughed. "Yes, I think so." He gave her a pouty look and she grinned, running her fingers over his jaw. "_Definitely _better than Taylor."

He grinned at her and kissed her again. Both smiled into the kiss. In fact, they were so wrapped up in each other that they did not hear the approach of Quil, Seth, and Embry. They swung the door open and hit Leah in the back. Hard.

"Owww!" she yelled, banging her fist on the door. "Watch where you swing that thing, you morons!"

Jacob chuckled softly but grew serious. "Yeah guys. Careful."

All three pack members poked their heads in the door and gasped at the sight: Their Beta, with her legs wrapped tightly around their Alpha's waist. And their Alpha sure didn't seem to be pushing her off.

"What the hell is this?!" Embry exclaimed. Then he groaned. "Awww, come on man! You've got the imprint! You can't let me have the girl this once?"

"Excuse me! I am not a prize to be had, I belong to no one!" Leah shouted, somewhat angrily.

"Yeah, guys, have a little respect," Jacob warned. Leah flashed him a smile. He smiled back and gave her a kiss.

"Ewwwa!" Seth shouted, covering his eyes. "Gross! Now I'm going to have sit through visions of you two making out. All. The. Time! Jake, she's my sister, man!"

Quickly after Seth ended his monologue, Embry picked up right where he left off. "Once, dude! Once!"

Jacob shrugged. "Sorry, man. She wanted me more. I can't help that."

Jacob walked into the kitchen with Leah still in his arms, her head on his shoulder, arms curled up between their chests. The others followed and began rummaging through the cupboards. Jacob leaned against the back wall and held her tightly against him.

"So did you enjoy the movie or whatever? Or did you guys skip it and go straight to this after me and mom left? How long has this been going on? When were you planning on telling us?" Seth asked as he munched on Doritos.

"Oh, we enjoyed the movie. But Jake got jealous of Taylor Lautner, my celebrity crush. And that's how all this came about. So really, we've been together all of 5 minutes," Leah told them.

"I was not jealous. I was just reminding you that I'm a person too. And a great one at that. And since when are we together?" Jacob asked.

She looked at him. "Oh, well, I mean, I just assumed that, since you're not just out for a piece of ass or anything…"

Leah's words trailed off, growing quieter towards the end. The kitchen grew silent. Jacob watched as her face fell, sad. Disappointed. She quickly began to climb out of his arms, untangling her legs from his waist. He held her tighter against him and lifted her chin towards him. She bit her lip, already fighting tears.

"Oh, Lee. That's not what I meant at all. I meant that I wanted to ask first. You are my first real girlfriend, you know. I think I should be able to ask if you'll accept the label, that is." He smiled slightly and she nodded.

"Yeah. It wouldn't be that way, but we all know how well the Bella incident ended up…" Embry and Quil laughed.

And Jacob lunged.

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_A/N: So, I had a lot of fun writing this. What did you guys think? Review me!_


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